Saturday, May 15, 2010

PITY THE CARICATURISTS


Barack Obama is a good-looking President and a caricaturist’s dream: stick-out ears, big teeth, big grin, you couldn't ask for more:

David Miliband is also a handsome man and just look what a good caricaturist can do to him:
But, even though Nick Clegg is just as handsome as the others, he’s a caricaturist’s nightmare.  He has tiny, close-fitting ears, his features are terrifyingly regular, his teeth and nose are boringly straight.  Absolutely nothing to exaggerate.  Except a long neck and tall forehead.  Which leads to these:
He's impossible to draw, let alone caricature.  I fear he’ll have to be represented by a symbol:
Will Nick be the only un-caricaturable politician in history?

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Sunday, May 2, 2010

THE TYPING TOAD

The Typing Toad was extra busy last week.
He usually sneaks in when I’m tired and fuzzy-brained and have been in kicking up my heels and drinking too much champagne instead of concentrating on my writing.   But he also likes to contribute generously to the weekly blog post, then announce it on Twitter before I can edit him out.   Sometimes I have to wrestle with the Typing Toad for days before I can regain control of my writing.  He’s always around when I feel least like writing but seems to disappear when I’m focused and  typing with fiery fingers.  
    It was the Typing Toad who convinced me in the first place that the blog must go on, no matter what. 
    "Somesing must be published every Sunday morning."  (Typing Toad has an adorable French accent).
    Why?  I’m not being paid for this, nobody’s breathlessly waiting for it. 
    "Sink of it as a deadline.  You will learn discipline."
    Discipline, shmiscipline.  I think I’ll just skip a week.  Or a month.
    "But you promised you would do it, so you ‘ave to." 
    But I don’t feel like writing, I have no ideas and what if it sucks? 
    "It won’t suck if you let me do it.  Just leave it to me, chérie
."
    And, like a dope, I do.
    Typing Toad’s style leaves a lot to be desired.  It’s sloppy, scattered, full of non-sequiturs and is very self-indulgent.  He likes to use gratuitously big words, sound effects, symbols, he thinks the silliest things are funny and he repeats himself.  He also makes spelling mistakes, overlooks typos and his thoughts are ill-formed and his arguments poorly made.  Typing Toad often sounds as though he’s been at the dandelion wine.
    Want to see the Typing Toad in action?  Just watch the evolution of my Sunday blog posts happening right before your eyes most weeks. It’s often tweaked a dozen or more times, sometimes it gets completely rewritten and isn’t usually properly readable until Wednesday, when Typing Toad takes the day off.

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